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Daytona Beach victim was wearing a shark costume. “Cannibalism confusion,” said experts.
At Santa Monica, shark tried to Venmo victim mid-bite.
Waikiki victim identified by custom float: “Shark Bait But Make It Fashion.”
Coney Island bite happened during pizza float parade.
Ocean City shark bit foam noodle, demanded refund.
At Pismo Beach, shark bit paddleboarder, then spit out his Bluetooth speaker.
Cape Cod shark only bites TikTok dancers. Strict diet.
Daytona Beach shark bit paddleboarder, said “too much core strength.”
Santa Monica shark attack occurred after someone screamed, “It’s giving jaws!”
Santa Cruz shark demanded a Spotify playlist before attacking.
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